This isn’t my usual thing–I save my political rants for Facebook. Unfortunately, having seen too many ignorant comments about this today, I figured this ramble deserved (and needed) a much larger audience. Many of these arguments are floating all over the Internet, and I had reservations about repeating them; that being said, I felt it was necessary given that this issue is often avoided. Expect many images in this post–usually when confronted about issues regarding gender inequality, people expect evidence. Well, here’s as much evidence I could find.
Let’s break this down one at a time.
Transcript available here:
The video is essentially Rodger stating that he never had sexual experience, and the blame for that falls upon women because they “weren’t attracted to [him]”. He describes himself as the “perfect guy” and vows to “punish all of [them] for it”. Rodger proceeds to explain his murder plans targeting “popular kids” and “girls who rejected [him]”, specifically “every single spoiled, stuck-up, blonde slut”, saying they “forced me to suffer all my life.”
Before breaking this apart, let’s hear from the comments on the video shall we?
All of these comments reflect the source of the problem in the first place: hyper-masculinity and resulting misogyny.
Sex would not have stopped Rodger from killing a girl for saying no. Sex would not have saved lives last night. But teaching men about consent? Teaching men about respecting women and not objectifying them? Probably.
While laws regarding women’s rights might have shifted in the past century, ideas regarding masculinity certainly haven’t. Men are often credited based on hyper-masculine standards, i.e. that a man can’t be weak and display emotion “like a girl”, that he should display strength by “getting a girl”, having sex with her, and controlling her. When rejection occurs, terms like “friend-zoned” are tossed around with the woman blamed.
Rodger also expressed similar emotions in his document “My Twisted World”. In addition to hyper-masculine ideals, he described his longing for sex, specifically with a girl who was “blonde” and “skinny”.
Yet never did he describe approaching a girl and getting rejected. Nor did he describe being denied happiness because of something a girl did. Rather he felt he was entitled to love and sex because he was “white”; he recalls feeling angry that a black man was able to “get” a blonde girl, whereas he was not (also presents the issue of racism).
Additionally, many of the qualities he described in a girl he wanted were purely physical, not personality-based:
Throughout the narration, he was driven by the idea that he was undeserving of rejection.
|(Rodger, “My Twisted World”)
Here are some of the terms mentioned and implied by Rodger’s videos & manifesto and why they’re toxic–even without malicious intent.
Definition: ”What you attain after you fail to impress a woman you’re attracted to. Usually initiated by the woman saying, ‘You’re such a good friend.’”
Why it’s harmful: Yes, rejection sucks. It feels awful, it can ruin friendships, it can make situations ten-times more awkward. But what this essentially does is blames the female for rejecting a guy’s advances. Even more interesting, why can guys reject girls under the basis that “she’s a crazy b!tch” but why can’t girls reject guys with “he’s just a friend” reasoning? Why does a girl have to be gentle when rejecting a guy–and still get criticism for it?
Definition: “An unfortunate phenomenon in which people degrade or mock a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumored to participate in sexual activity… However, since most people would rather women be MORE sexually active than less, slut shaming is counterproductive to the aims of most men and quite a few ladies.”
Why it’s harmful: Labelling a woman as a slut and drawing the conclusion that she “wants it” based on what she’s wearing essentially rationalizes harming her and having sex with her (even against her will), because it’s no big deal…she’s a slut after all?!
And THAT is how rape happens. The worst part is, this form of hate occurs within girls as well (for a tangible example of this see Jenna Marbles Things I Don’t Understand About Girls Part 2: Slut Edition and Laci Green’s response)
NICE GUY SYNDROME:
Definition: “A annoying mental condition in which a heterosexual man concocts oversimplified ideas why women aren’t flocking to him in droves. Typically this male will whine and complain about how women never want to date them because he is “too nice” or that he is average in appearance. “
Why it’s harmful: Similar to “friendzoning”, the idea that when rejection occurs, the girl is to blame. Furthermore, this perpetuates an ideal of hypermasculinity—that a guy must be controlling and a “bad boy” in order to get a girl. Being in a relationship is in no way, a merit system.
All right. So this guy might’ve did some awful things and had some sexist thoughts before he went on a killing spree. Surely he was messed up in his head!!!
With every mass shooting, mental illness is a topic of discussion.
And to some extent, in the case of violence, it is inevitable–why else would humans want to kill each other so badly? But from all the evidence presented so far, this isn’t another Columbine, Virginia Tech, or Sandy Hook. This isn’t a case of a student suffering from depression. This is a hate crime. This is an act of violence targeted at women. All of Rodger’s quotations and videos echo Nice Guy Syndrome and resemble the rationalization behind harming women for rejecting men.
|(Rodger, “My Twisted World”)
No shooting is black and white–and I don’t pretend to a psychiatrist. However, to dismiss Isla Vista as purely the result of a mental illness a) belittles mental health discussion and b) alleviates much of the blame from the perpetrator. A violent act does not equate to a mental illness; According to the Institute of Medicine (2006):
“Although studies suggest a link between mental illnesses and violence, the contribution of people with mental illnesses to overall rates of violence is small, and further, the magnitude of the relationship is greatly exaggerated in the minds of the general population.”
The myth of mental illness and violence as a package deal only heightens the myth that mentally ill people are violent–thus stigmatizing mental health. There are individuals with Asperger’s and depression who did not kill six people. Regardless of whether Rodger suffered from a mental illness, based on his video and manifesto one thing is clear; the Isla Vista shooting was a result of internalized misogyny and an attitude regarding entitlement.
|(Rodger, “My Twisted World”)
But the worst part is, it took a shooting at a public university for a discussion regarding misogyny to be taken seriously. It took one shooting and not 230,000+ sexual assaults that occur annually for sexism to be called out—and not even by mainstream media. CNN included opinions that Rodger was “mentally disturbed” while NBC included comments from law enforcement stating that the shooting was the work of a “madman”. Even though major news outlets haven’t framed the shooting as a misogynistic-fueled incident, social media networks have been active in calling out violence against women, with the hashtag #YesAllWomen trending for hours in the United States. Yet, even with that, sexist tweets still resulted:
For those who consider this post “anti-men”, think of this:
Every 90 seconds a girl in the USA is sexually assaulted, one out of five girls have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime, eighty-three percent of TEENAGE GIRLS experience sexual harassment in public schools, and one-third of female murder victims (ages 12 and above) are killed by an intimate partner.
Defending women is not hating on men, the same way fighting for food stamps is not hating on the rich.
But what can you do? As a man, as a woman, as any gender, you can speak out. Point out sexist comments when you hear them (as Emma Stone so tactfully did). Call out your friend who rates a girl as she walks by. Tell your female friends to stop calling a girl a slut because of her Halloween costume. Remind a stranger who’s harassing a woman on the street that what he’s doing is not okay.
And keep on pushing for change. Because despite what anyone says–whether it be mainstream media or figures of authority–we’re not there yet.